The Bates Letter, #16
Don’t Break the Chain
“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?” The stoic philosopher and teacher Epictetus asked his students.
We can all relate to this. There are parts of our lives where we’re choosing to accept less than our best. Where we’re settling. Where we know we want to change. But we fall for the illusion that we have time. That we’ll get to it eventually. But eventually ends up being never. And at some point we’ve gone so far in the other direction it seems impossible to even start.
“If you are careless and lazy now and keep putting things off and always deferring the day after which you will attend to yourself, you will not notice that you are making no progress, but you will live and die as someone quite ordinary,” Epictetus continued.
We’ve all heard, “diet starts Monday” or “next week I’m going to…” It gives a false sense of accomplishment. It’s easy to forget that our lives are what’s happening now. What we’re doing today.
We get lost in the idea that our life is something in the future. Or that once we have a certain thing or have reached a certain point, then we’ll begin to live.
It was a few thousand years ago, and Epictetus is trying to shake his students out of this idea.
“Remember that the contest is now,” he instructed, “you are at the Olympic Games, you cannot wait any longer, and that your progress is wrecked or preserved by a single day and a single event.”
Your life is taking place right now. Every decision matters. Every decision is moving you closer or further from where you want to be.
In Atomic Habits, James Clear explains that the word identity comes from the Latin words, “essentitas, which means being, and identidem, which means repeatedly. Your identity is literally your repeated beingness.”
Long before James Clear, Aristotle allegedly said, “We are what we repeatedly do.”
Your habits, the small choices you make every day, determine the quality of your life. The key to building good habits is building good momentum.
There’s a story about a young comedian asking Jerry Seinfeld for tips one night after he got off stage. Seinfeld tells him to get a wall calendar, write one joke a day and then put an X over each day.
"After a few days you'll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You'll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain," he advised.
You can apply this to anything. Below is my calendar from last year when I wanted to take a break from drinking. I started by doing “Sober January” and ended up keeping it going for six months.
I had multiple calendars on my fridge for habits I wanted to build. Aside from work it gave my day a new kind of intention, my goal was to get my X’s. I’ve used this technique for goals big and small: 100 push-ups a day, meditating, reading for 20 minutes.
It doesn’t have to be indefinite. Take something you’ve wanted to try, that you think would improve your life and try this technique for two weeks. Then you can make a decision about whether you want to keep it going, but at least you’ve actually tried.
Don’t wait to demand the best for yourself.
Book Recommendations
We're entering the best time of the year to read. Shorter days and more free time. Here's a few I think anyone will enjoy.
Atomic Habits by James Clear: If you're thinking about resolutions for 2021, reading Atomic Habits will give you the best shot at making them stick.
Tiger Woods by Jeff Benedict and Armen Keteyian: This book is hard to put down. If you have free time and want to be entertained over the break, this one will suck you in. Regardless of your interest in golf, it’s always valuable to read about someone who is the best at what they do.
1776 by David McCullough: I've read a few of McCullough's books, they're all great, but this is his best. It reads like a novel and tells the story of the year of the Declaration of Independence in an incredible way. You’ll feel like you’re there.
Three Things I Thought Were Worth Sharing
How I Took Notes on 250+ Books in Roam: How to retain what you read and get the most out of books.
Quote I like: “You actions reveal not what you want, but what you choose.” – Shane Parrish
The Sweaty Startup: Real wealth is the freedom to do what you want, when you want. This is a cool site focused on low-risk entrepreneurship. They’re not the most glamorous ideas, but they’re practical and something you could test without spending a lot of money.
Thanks for taking the time to read. If you have book recommendations, feedback or anything you think I’d find interesting, please share. And if you know someone you think might be interested, please pass it along.
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